amanda faith wooten

my sweet angel AMANDA FAITH WOOTEN was born sleeping at 10:30 pm on august 2,1983 after i had a spleenic anrysum to burst. she was a healthy beautiful little baby girl and i let her down. i killed her.my body just couldn't do what it needed to do for her to make it i guess.i went into the hospital on that wednesday after i had been there for 3 days in a row telling them i was sick and that something was wrong but they didn't believe me. every time they checked the baby her heart beat was good and all seemed fine but i knew my body and i knew there was something wrong.so on the third day i went back again and he put me into the hospital this time and started iv and gave me some meds for vommiting.after an hour i started feeling a little better so my family was going to leave me. the nurse came in to check me and i ask if my mom could listen to the babys heart beat and she did of course.my mom was tickled to death.i think it made her realize we was having a baby!! so they told me good-bye and the nurse was going to finish up with me so i ask if i could listen to her heartbeat while she done her paperwork and she said ok.i started to listen to the heartbeat and all of a sudden i had a real sharp pain ,so i turned to the nurse and ask what she had given me.( i thought she put me in labor) thats how bad it hurt.and it was my first baby so i didn't know what to expect.well after that i went out.the next time i woke up i had doctors and nurses in my bed and all over me.i could hear them but they couldn't hear me.it was so weird.i remember they had a machine in the bed for the babys heartbeat but the next time i woke up it was gone.they didn't knwo what was going on.the didn't know what to do to me.they checked me to see if i was having a baby and of course i wasn't.and when i would come to i was begging them not to let my baby die.thats all i would say please don't let my baby die.then after a while i had no knowlege of time, my mom and best friend was in the room with me.my belly was like jello as my mom would rub it.i kept asking my mother to rub my back because i felt like i was having a heartattack(which I was) but then i would go back out and then to me i was fighting the doctors telling them to make my mommy leave so she wouldnt see me like i was.the next thing i remember was a doctor at my bedside talking to my mom and he told her he was taking me to surgury to see what was wrong.and that my ob doctor would be there too to help with the baby.so right when they got ready to leave with me the nurse wanted to check me and i said no but my mom begged me to let them so i said ok.she promised if i did it this one time that would be all.so as i went to roll over from my side to my back i started hemoraging everywhere,all over everyone.it was bad. the blood went all over my best friend at the bottom of my bed, it was on the walls. everywhere.the next thing i remember was as they was taking me through the operating doors all my family was runnung down the hall toward me.crying ,screaming. not good.so then they took me in to surgury and when i woke up it was early morning maybe 3-4am i don;t know much at that time all i was asking was where my baby was at.they jusy said you had a little girl,then i would go out again.the next time i came to my mom was there with me she was crying so hard but i was too sick to know what was going on.they didn't let her stay long i ask her about the baby and she said i had a little girl and she had saw her and she was beautiful and thats all she told me.  when she came out of icu where i was at they had to wash the blood off her legs and shoes thats how bad i was bleeding from allover.they said my daddy was in the floor begging my mom to tell him how i was.how sad.so he ask if he could come see me but they wouldn't  let him for some reason.but they let my mom and sister come the next time and once again the first and only thing i remember asking was my baby. but the doctor came in this time and he told them they needed to tell me she was gone.but you see i knew in my heart she was already gone but i just couldnt take it all in.so the next time i ask about her my mom told me she had died,and i don't know what happen after that.i guess i went out again.but at some poing the next thing i started saying was i wanted to see her so they had alread took her to the funeral home but my best friend bobby worked there and he brought her to the hospital so i could see her.she was so beautiful.i was too sick to really hold her,but i made them undress her so i could look her over and make sure she had all her fingers & toes.she had a head full of brown curls partly mine some of dads.then he took her into the waiting room of the icu so the rest of my family could see her and hold her. my dad wouldnt let them bury her until the doctor told him i was going to live or had a chance of living,because he was going to bury her in my arms if i had died too.(lorn only knows how many times i wished i had went with her)but that wasn't gods plan.i stayed in icu for 5 days then in a reg.room for 7 more.in the meantime amanda was laid to rest beside my aunt.the day i come home my best friend fon was waiting on me and he drove me and jo to her grave site.i stayed for a while then i had to come home because i was still very sick.but i went back the next day and for many more days after that before i ever took a day off.i wasnt happy with where she was buried because i moved out of state and there was no one to help me clean off the graveyard so when my dad passed away in 1991 the guy from where he was buried ask if i was interested in buying plots beside of him and my mom to be buried there.my husband said yes before i had a chance to say a word,and he turned to me and said we can move amanda.now he is not her daddy but he is such a good man.i met him like 3 1/2 years after she was born.i had been having alot of bad dreams about amanda like her casket coming open,bugs being in it,all sorts of things and i was having a hard time coping with them. so we got places for him  myself and amnada.i moved her after we all had time to get over losing dad some,and i had a small service for her because i didn't get to attend her first funeral.i  was at her grave from when they dug her up(though i was scared to death because of the dreams) and then they let me carry her casket to the other grave yard, where they cleaned it and this nice man named ron took the time and his money to go out and buy some gold letters  to spell her name and put them on her casket for me.we buried her the next day with some friends/family there. my husband videoed it all.i stayed until they completely buried her then left.but i have never had another bad dream since then(thank you god).i try to visit as much as i can.and I LOVE HER AND MISS HER WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.thank you for reading this and sharing her story.may god bless you.